Quote

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Time
Housekeepers
Expert
Divorced
Experts
Keeps
Gets
House
Every
Housekeeper

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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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