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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Expert
Divorced
Experts
Keeps
Gets
House
Every
Housekeeper
Time
Housekeepers
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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