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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Time
Housekeepers
Expert
Divorced
Experts
Keeps
Gets
House
Every
Housekeeper

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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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