Quote

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Gets
House
Every
Housekeeper
Time
Housekeepers
Expert
Divorced
Experts
Keeps

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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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