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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Fountain
Drink
College
Knowledge

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman