Quote

Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Cuckoo
Cuckoos
Neat
Puts
Clock
Paper
Law
Mother

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Image
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
Image
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Image
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Image
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
Image
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
Image
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
Image
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
Image
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
Image
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
Image
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Image
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Image
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
Image
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
Image
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman