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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Married

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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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