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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Married

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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman