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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Reincarnation
Alive
Believe

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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