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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Reincarnation
Alive
Believe

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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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