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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Quarters
Dollars
Give
Giving
Good
Motel
Motels
More quotes by Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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