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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Give
Giving
Good
Motel
Motels
Quarters
Dollars

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman