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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Marrying
Failures
Caused
Marriage

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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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