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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Marrying
Failures
Caused
Marriage

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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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