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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Marrying
Failures
Caused
Marriage

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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