Quote

I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Words
Firsts
First
Peanuts
Never
Popcorn
Theatre
Comedy
Forget
Funny

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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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