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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Words
Firsts
First
Peanuts
Never
Popcorn
Theatre
Comedy
Forget
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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