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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Defects
Comic
Wasn
Comedy
Funny
Might
Defect
Fatal
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
