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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Comedy
Funny
Might
Defect
Fatal
Defects
Comic
Wasn

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman