Quote

He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Comic
Wasn
Comedy
Funny
Might
Defect
Fatal
Defects

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman