Quote

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Head
Funny
Body
Men
Cattle
Heads
Bodies
Worth

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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