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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Told
Guy
Funny
Tough
Afraid
Humor
Dead

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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