Quote

A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Dead
Told
Guy
Funny
Tough
Afraid
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman