Quote

A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Tough
Afraid
Humor
Dead
Told
Guy
Funny

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman