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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Dead
Told
Guy
Funny
Tough
Afraid
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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