Quote

A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Tough
Afraid
Humor
Dead
Told
Guy

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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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