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If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Blush
Humor
Blood
Funny
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
