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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Bought
Cameras
Brother
Humor
Funny
Family
Crick
Japanese

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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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