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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Funny
Family
Crick
Japanese
Bought
Cameras
Brother
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman