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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Bought
Cameras
Brother
Humor
Funny
Family
Crick
Japanese

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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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