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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Family
Crick
Japanese
Bought
Cameras
Brother
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman