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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Family
Tokyo
Men
Shop
Shops
Opened
Tall
Brother
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
