Quote

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Would
Brother
Humor
Funny
Family
Learn
Wish
Work
Kind
Trade

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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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