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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Funny
Family
Learn
Wish
Work
Kind
Trade
Would
Brother
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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