Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Yelling
Truck
Garbage
Ran
Jump
Late
Humor
Wife
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
