Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Truck
Garbage
Ran
Jump
Late
Humor
Wife
Funny
Yelling
More quotes by Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman