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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wife
Yelling
Funny
Truck
Garbage
Ran
Jump
Late
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman