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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wife
Bathroom
Funny
Stayed
Night
Wedding
Back
Cried
Time
Hotel
Spent
Humor
Went
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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