Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wife
Funny
Black
Belt
Belts
Shopping
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman