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My wife has a black belt in shopping.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Belts
Shopping
Humor
Wife
Funny
Black
Belt

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman