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My wife has a black belt in shopping.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Black
Belt
Belts
Shopping
Humor
Wife

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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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