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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Single
Says
Wife
Seen
Jail
Funny
Killing
Woman
Havens
Around
Haven
Men
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
