Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Call
Polish
Funny
Phone
Men
Doctor
Phones
Doctors
Ironing
Ears
Bandage
Humor
Bandages
Happened
Rang
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
