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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Slower
Polish
Okay
Humor
Talk
Funny

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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