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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Spells
Farms
Humor
Funny
People
Spell
Polish
Farm

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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman