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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Spells
Farms
Humor
Funny
People
Spell
Polish
Farm
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman