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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Wife
Polish
Guy
Locked
Hours
Hour
Funny
Keys
Car
Took
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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