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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Men
Halloween
Burned
French
Humor
Happened
Faces
Bobbing
Funny
Fries
Two
Polish
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
