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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Happened
Faces
Bobbing
Funny
Fries
Two
Polish
Men
Halloween
Burned
French
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
