Quote

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doe
Polish
Men
Pet
Spot
Bought
Spots
Humor
Call
Zebra
Funny
Zebras

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
Image
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
Image
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Image
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Image
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
Image
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
Image
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Image
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman
Image
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
Image
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
Image
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Image
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman