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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Zebras
Doe
Polish
Men
Pet
Spot
Bought
Spots
Humor
Call
Zebra
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman