Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Call
Zebra
Funny
Zebras
Doe
Polish
Men
Pet
Spot
Bought
Spots
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman