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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Spot
Bought
Spots
Humor
Call
Zebra
Funny
Zebras
Doe
Polish
Men
Pet
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman