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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Bought
Spots
Humor
Call
Zebra
Funny
Zebras
Doe
Polish
Men
Pet
Spot
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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