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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Terrorist
Mouth
Mouths
Blow
Exhaust
Car
Pipe
Humor
Polish
Funny
Burned
Sent
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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