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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Polish
Funny
Burned
Sent
Terrorist
Mouth
Mouths
Blow
Exhaust
Car
Pipe
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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