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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Car
Pipe
Humor
Polish
Funny
Burned
Sent
Terrorist
Mouth
Mouths
Blow
Exhaust
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman