Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Terrorist
Mouth
Mouths
Blow
Exhaust
Car
Pipe
Humor
Polish
Funny
Burned
Sent
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
