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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Burned
Sent
Terrorist
Mouth
Mouths
Blow
Exhaust
Car
Pipe
Humor
Polish

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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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